The other night, JT brought me the box of red velvet cake mix he’d thrown in our grocery cart a few weeks ago. For some reason, I’ve never had the inclination to choose red velvet over my go-to chocolate cakey goodness. My former roomie makes some mean red velvet cake balls, but that might be the only time I’ve tasted it.
Still, the moment that cake box touched my hands, I had devilish plans. Read on if you dare to find out what to do.
First, bake some cake batter cookies by mixing a box of cake mix, 2 eggs, and 1/4 cup of oil, spooning equal amounts onto cookie sheets (or the brand new jelly roll pans your husband bought you as an early Christmas present!), and baking in a pre-heated 350-degree oven for eight minutes, and then, you mustn’t forget this very important step: let. them. cool.
In terms of technique – not that I claim to have any – I took equal-size amounts of dough, rolled them into little balls between my palms, and flattened them gently with my fingers so they’d be as even and round as possible. Since they turn out super rich, I’d highly recommend making these much smaller than pictured, using maybe 1 tablespoon of mix at a time so you get cute bite-sized deliciousness.
Since in my kitchen, we don’t discriminate, if one or more turn out with a case of the uglies, and say, look like the earthshake-cracked ground on Land Before Time, just stick them on the bottom of your lovely little pies.
But don’t let me get ahead of myself. Before that can happen, you are going to make a substance that will cause you to reread this post multiple times, searching for one missing word. I can assure you, this is a drug-free zone, and there is no crack involved in this recipe.
Even a red velvet novice like me knows that red velvet cake without cream cheese frosting is like peanut butter without jelly. Okay, bad analogy; I eat peanut butter and honey sandwiches every morning for breakfast and somehow survive. Anyway, I decided to go big or go home and went to the expert herself. Ladies and gentleman (since I know at least JT will read this), they’re not kidding when they call it The BEST Cream Cheese frosting. Because it sure is.
Except for one thing. In my experience, I know that I like to be able to taste the cream cheese a little more than most recipes call for, so I only added about 2.5 cups of powdered sugar. But be sure to taste it after you blend in each cup. Everyone’s preferences are different!
Please save a little for the cookies. I know it’s hard, but you’re brave. You can do it.
Spoon a little bit of frosting onto a cookie. Once again, everyone’s tastes are different. I’m more of a “Want a little cookie with your frosting?” kind of girl. (Just in case, you know, you couldn’t tell.)
Slap another cookie on and give it a little squeeze. Watch the frosting goodness ooze. Mmmmm.
If you’re like me and couldn’t wait until the cookies were cooled to room temperature, your cookie might crumble. Sad day. But that’s okay because frosting makes the tastiest glue imaginable!
(with milk, coffee, or by itself, sneaked from the refrigerator and eaten over the sink)
(PS: store in the fridge so the cream cheese will keep;
bring to room temp when you’re ready to eat – if you can wait that long)