conversations of late

At 4:00p.m. on my birthday when my boss is leaving for the day:

BOSS: Today is your birthday!? You're joking, right? I am the worst boss ever.
LB: You can't even remember your own birthday.
BOSS: True.
BOSS: So you don't hold it against me, right?

Pillow talk:

LB: Did you know you wanted cuddle time at 4 in the morning during the storm?
JT: That's how I roll (over in bed)

Work email from client (JM) to guy I work with (MB):

"Note: Author’s last name is spelled ABCDE (and pronounced ABCDE, if you’re curious). I’ve already ticked him off once by screwing it up in an email to a niche contact. MB, give yourself 30 lashings with the weapon of your choice. Love, JM"

"JM, I choose a Nerf ball attached to a sock. - MB"

"I’ll let you get by with that this time, MB, but if you ever screw up a difficult-to-spell-and-worse-to-pronounce last name again, I get to choose the weapon! -JM"

On current events:

JT: The Duggars are having number 19
LB: SICK!
LB: You know, it's never too late to catch up with them.

With EL, a girl I work with:

EL: I am obsessed with Anne of Green Gables right now because some friends are visiting Prince Edward Island this weekend and keep updating their Facebook statuses about it.
LB: I've only been to Western Canada, but I'd imagine it's a lot like Maine, only I've never been to Maine.

On the common misconceptions between man and wife:

JT: Aren't you going to be hot in those jeans? We'll be outside.
LB: No, I rolled them up like capris and I'm wearing a tank top with them.
JT: Just because you're wearing a tank top doesn't mean your legs won't be hot. I must be one of the most confused husbands of all time.
LB: No, all husbands are confused, they just don't have to understand everything like you do.
JT: True.
JT: You're going to blog about this aren't you?

Last night, I returned home after cooking a VERY messy dinner and taking it to my friends who had just moved. I felt guilty to leave JT when the dishes were literally piled in the sink, the counter was splattered with egg and sprinkled with flour, and his plate was getting cold in the microwave. When I got home, most of the dishes were in the dishwasher and the counters were wiped clean, a bottle of Fantastik a tell-tale reminder of what my husband had done.

"I cleaned," he announced. I am still trying to pay him back.

And then, he woke me up with the Boomer Sooner theme song. Sick.