Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This is a summary of how my week did NOT go:

This week, I certainly did NOT go to Whole Foods without a list and when I was hungry. I would NEVER break the cardinal rules of healthy and frugal grocery shopping. And I definitely did NOT only eat free fancy cheese samples for dinner. Nope. Not me.

When work was stressful, the UPS man did NOT open the door to my office to find me and my laptop sitting on my green squashy rug. Who would seriously be that unprofessional to work on the floor when a perfectly good desk is at her disposal?

And at my dentist appointment, I did NOT have any cavities, not even two tiny little ones. As an adult, I am SO past the squirmy dentist dread of my youth. I did NOT whine and complain to all of my friends both before and after the appointment, and I certainly would NEVER make references to ground meat when discussing my gums in public.

For breakfast this week, I ate healthy and wholesome, filling meals to start my day. I would NEVER eat a dark chocolate square by itself on my way to work, much less three days in a row!

As I was making the food for a shower I threw in OKC this weekend, I certainly did NOT nibble and munch and lick my cooking utensils into the wee hours of the morning because I did NOT procrastinate and stay up until 2AM cooking. At the shower, I ate a normal amount of the chocolate meringues I made and would NEVER eat after I was no longer hungry.

And on my way home, I did NOT stop at Pops and buy their entire stock of Henry Weinhard’s root beer for my husband, even though there were others in line that wanted some. NO, that greedy person must have been someone else who belongs to some other husband.

I am a much better wife than to miss my husband’s soccer game and his spectacular goal because I was out of town. When he took me to the movies, I was very grateful to see an action film instead of a chick flick and did NOT make a scene when the concessions vendor informed me that they no longer sold pickles. Of course I WOULDN’T check three different counters to verify this shocking information.

Well, there you have it. That's what I HAVEN'T been up to lately. You should play along. It's very liberating!