a dilemma, a choice, and two challenges

I was torn about what to blog about tonight, not because I feel obligated to blog, but because I have so many thoughts swirling in my head. There's my glorious Christmas weekend to record, and my 2009 Review is still stewing (If you did one, please link me so I can see!), among other things.

Then a series of events happened and my choice was clear. I am going to blog about two challenges I'm making to myself, as if I didn't have enough resolutions on my plate.

First, let me start with a story. One of my family's longtime friends came over Thanksgiving weekend to watch a big football game. Since my mom was busy in the kitchen, I talked a lot with her friend. This friend told me a story about how she'd discovered that her college roommate's daughter went to college with me. When she made the connection, my college friend and classmate revealed that I had played an integral role in rededicating her life to Christ.

I couldn't remember this encounter for the life of me. We'd never prayed together, that I could remember. And I'm not a particularly proselytizing kind of girl -- nothing against it, just not my cup of tea, unless God makes it abundantly clear that I'm supposed to talk to someone. It's happened before, but as far as I could recall, He didn't strike a lightning bolt out of the sky to prompt me to set this girl straight. All I could remember is us cutting up in class, talking about her shoe obsession, favorite books, boys, her horse, etc.

As it turns out, it was an offhand comment I made in class, maybe even (dare I say?) a sarcastic quip, that challenged her and sparked a tiny flame inside of her heart. I had no idea. And it wasn't even my intention, as bad as that sounds. But hearing about it, learning that I had impacted someone's life in such a way, in turn, inspired me. Yet another aspect of God's power has been revealed to me, that he can take words and shape them in a way that fits what some needs to hear perfectly -- in a way that we could never fathom doing.


My first challenge is to be more vocal about telling people when they have influenced me: spiritually, physically, emotionally -- in whatever way.

I have received lots of encouragement this week (Like you, Michelle Meisner!), some from good friends, some from people I've never met in person. I'm greatly appreciative and know for certain that those words are God becoming tangible on this earth.

What would happen if for every person who made my day, I continued that act of kindness and didn't let it only live in my admiration and gratefulness and benefit, but carried it on to give another that incomparable sense of loveliness, worthiness, talent, or value?

My second challenge is to pay tokens of love and kindness forward and to continue to pray that God will use my words and actions to uplift and accomplish. I Corinthian 13 says that love keeps no record of wrongs. But what if it kept a record of rights, not with the motivation that every act of kindness has to be repaid OR ELSE...

but with the

simple motivation

of spreading 

love. 

love.cake.hillsong

What would I do without this wonderful man? I am so thankful for him today. We spent a wonderful evening worshiping together with Hillsong United last night at their concert. It was a rejuvenating experience that changed my life. They did my favorite song of all time, "With Everything," and it was even more powerful worshiping to it in person.

While working on Love Better, love has been everywhere. Hillsong lyrics have great insights on Savior-Love. I am also reading The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis, and who puts it better than him?

Our pastor is even conducting a sermon series on BEING the Church, and all I can think about is pouring God's love to others. I told him that I've been recognizing how unloving I can be to people: snobby, jealous, petty, manipulative -- the works. He agreed that perhaps the first step to Love Better is to recognize where I fall short. This Sunday is a Be the Church Sunday. We do them every month that has a fifth Sunday, on the fifth Sunday of the month. We cancel church service and go out into the community. I'm excited about it and can't think of a better way to celebrate the day before my birthday!

But I have enjoyed loving on my husband this week and lavishing in his love for me. I made him this beautiful cake he'd been craving and deemed it Love Lemon Cake to go with the theme, complete with lovely lemon icing from scratch.



Even though I used the wrong recipe for the cake, it turned out so well and it hit the spot for him. My mom even got to have some after our sushi class on Tuesday. Yes, we learned how to make sushi from a Japanese restaurant owner. (And by Japanese restaurant owner, I mean the owner was Japanese; not sure about the restaurant.) (PS: Still trying to get my mom to say Asian instead of Chinese or Oriental.)

I am bribing my fellow employees with GOAL Pancakes. If they hit goal today, I will bring my favorite 10-grain mix I still need to mail Miss Jessica and the shake and pour variety from Bisquick, which tastes so lovely, along with some fresh butter, blueberries, bananas, and honey and syrup. The cheap and yummy and morale-boosting way to make the last day before weekend more bearable! (And I will probably bring them anyway, even if they don't hit goal until tomorrow.)

Que tengan un buen dia!

Not Me! Monday Returns

Welcome (back) to Not Me! Monday, the blog carnival created by MckMama. It's time for me to share what has NOT been happening this week.

I did NOT sweep and vacuum the floor a combination of five times and still not have the power to get all of the mess off of our floors. I'm perfectly adept with the broom, and get it right the first try. My husband who has worked hours on our yard would NEVER have to pick up after his wife's "cleaning" jobs.

After writing a post (below) about loving people better, I would NOT immediately sneer at a man who almost ran me over in the parking lot and then roll my eyes at a group of ladies who stopped to chat whilst I was holding the 'vator for them. NO, almost immediately, I was a model of patience and virtue in my Project Love Better endeavors, especially pertaining to my husband.

And while embarking on Project Lean Bottom (coming to a post near you), I did NOT make the perfect batch of low-fat oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, better than they've ever turned out so far, and so good that they have NOT ruined us and our cookie expectations FOREVER. (EDIT: Recipe can be found at Undomestic Kitchen!)

If I made cookies in a weekend, I'd NEVER make a lemon cake the next night, even if my husband was craving it. I would NEVER take a picture of said cake, in good humor, compose a new blog post titled "My husband eats like a pregnant woman," and then delete it because I was ashamed. NOT me!

Well that's what I HAVEN'T been up to lately. What about you?

Project LB: Love is...

They say it's a blessing and a curse. They say it delights and devastates. They say it's healing and a disaster. The only thing I know about love is that I should live my life to do it better. And no matter how good I am at doing it, I will never be able to humanly comprehend a fraction of God's love.

But here are some earthly glimpses of this disaster and gift that haunts and lights as a whisper of God's love. And these are just examples I've seen this week!

L O V E i s . . .

admitting you're wrong.

moving when you've found the perfect
spot in bed because you know you're
getting his side of the sheets hot.

leaving him a PB&J in the kitchen

after his guy's night out

because she knew he'd be hungry.

a mother crying at work
because her son's t-ball coach
started practice without telling them.

spending hours and hours on outdoor
projects on behalf of wife and home.

helping wife's brother move.

Going to pick up a sick son from college
to feed him soup and let him sleep in
a warm bed

cleaning up vomit...
that does not belong to you

Donating hair to locks of love

giving (a lot) of money
and putting faith in a new church

So what's brought on all this talk of love? I have been challenged this month. Months ago, I saw a story on The Today Show about a young couple who had been in a plane crash. Both suffered serious injuries, but the wife was severely burned over 80% of her body. Looking back at her blog has been like reading the ultimate love story, except 1) it's true, and 2) their love couldn't be touched by the most talented Hollywood screenwriter because their love has been given to God and blessed by Him.

Stories from before their crash like her husband coming up from behind her to stop her dish washing so they could dance in the kitchen to their song, "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman" with their children watching, and asking her while she's up to her elbows in sick kids and dirty diapers the top three things he can do for her, and singing the same song by her bedside faithfully when she's in a coma and covered in burns and bandages. And the latest was the look in each other's eyes in the first picture she's revealed of herself since her accident that happened a year ago this weekend. The fact that not even near-death experiences and complete physical transformations can touch their love.

So the first measure I will write about in Project LB is Project Love Better. Right now, I love when it's convenient for me. I love when I won't get hurt. I love if it's fair. I love if I get something in return. I love when I'm thinking about it. I love when it will make me feel good.

I need to Love Better. I need to live a life of prayer and enrich myself in the Word so that love is almost a natural reaction for me. I need to love Grumpy, Rude, Selfish, BadDriver, and my very very favorite, Demanding in addition to Nice, Generous, ComplimentGiver. I need to love without abandon. I need love to ruin me, starting with my handsome husband and extending to the people I work with, the lady on her cell phone in the 4-Runner who cuts me off in traffic, and that guy who says exactly what he's thinking whether it's rude or false or uncalled for.

So starting today, I will embark on Project Love Better, among other things. Say no to jealousy, bitterness, and self, and yes to Christ's call to love!