thursday thirteen + blog love

As you probably know, I've been reading healthy living blogs for awhile. A few months ago, I came across a blog called (never home)maker. It's become one of my favorite things to read since then, too! Ashley and Stephen have all kinds of running and fitness tips, and Ashley has actually been so kind to give me advice via Twitter. Since this has been my very first experience with long distance running, I've appreciated her encouragement so much and can tell she's just an innately kind person.

Another way she's inspired me is through her cooking approach. If you visit her blog, you'll see that she and her husband come up with lots of creative, from-scratch healthy recipes. That's something I'd really like to do more of. If she can be a long distance runner, work full-time, have a life, and create such delicious-looking food, I believe I can do it, too with a little planning and effort! I've even added it to my 25 for 25 list. (I am formulating a 25 for 25 update post, by the way!)

Here are thirteen things (to start off with) that we normally buy from the store, but can be made just as deliciously from the comfort of my kitchen -- and maybe taste even better because of it. Hoping to get a huge food processor for Christmas this year (and birthday and anniversary), but until then, I will make do with my tiny one!

1. Hummus
2. Peanut butter
3. Marinara sauce
4. Pesto (from my new windowsill basil plants!)
5. Whole wheat bread
6. Granola/cereal
7. Granola bars
8. English muffins/bagels
9. Ricotta cheese and Greek yogurt (lots of bravery required for this one!)
10. Crackers
11. Desserts (new policy: only eat from-scratch desserts? can I do it?)
12. Jam
13. Salsa

To health! (And a whole lot less preservatives!)

full disclosure, novel writing, and bravery

One of the main reasons my blog posting has been so sporadic is because most of my extra computer/creative time is devoted to the project of all projects. If you've read my 25 for 25, you know that my goal is to finish my manuscript's first draft by my 26th birthday.

So now it's out there: I'm writing a novel.

This admission is something I've always been hesitant about. My proud husband tells anyone and everyone about my aspirations, and his pride is backed with so much support and expression of confidence that I can accomplish this daunting task.

I appreciate his vote of confidence, but when people ask me about my aspirations, I'm somewhat hesitant to open up about it. Being in the book business has taught me one thing: almost everyone thinks they have a book in them. And many of those people think their book is the next bestseller if Oprah has anything to do with it.

The reality is, I've been reading and telling stories since before kindergarten and writing fiction since I learned basic handwriting. There are notebooks full of short stories in my tentative new handwriting (I may be young, but this was before the age of computers). I've been known to stay up all night typing away at a story, and have learned that inspiration can strike anywhere, at any time, so I keep a notebook and Post-it notes with me almost all the time. There's even an almost shameful YA manuscript saved on my computer. (Let's just say if you found it, I'd awkwardly joke that One Tree Hill writers hacked my ideas.) And fellow writers know these common symptoms: thinking in narrative language and the agony of being literally or figuratively far from a writing utensil when inspiration strikes.

Writing is ingrained in my blood. Yet for some reason, I'm hesitant to admit I'd like to be an author, hesitant to label myself a "writer," even. It's not so much that I'm embarrassed or ashamed, that writing is somewhat of a taboo subject for me. I think it's the fear of failure. That if I put myself out there as an aspiring novelist, and either lose steam on my project and never complete it, or like many, never get published, I will fail the innate part of myself that comes to me like a second language (often at the most inconvenient times). Or worse, there's that hovering dark cloud of doubt that sometimes fills my mind with the belief that my dream is anchored in quicksand -- that I'm wasting time and energy on flawed, talentless writing that's simply not interesting to anyone but me.

But for now, I have a story to tell. And I think not telling it is the worst scenario of all. I think my sanity would seriously be compromised if I didn't put it on paper. So I'm going to try to do better at putting myself out there and being more confident about it.

Because sometimes you just have to stop thinking about something and be brave.

with everything, part 2

There comes a time in every girl's life -- or five -- when she simply needs a new beginning, a fresh start, or some semblance of a blank page. With my twenty-fifth birthday on the horizon, I'm full of wonder what my new page is going to look like. I guess you could call it a quarter-life crisis long coming, though I could contend that I've been through a few already. I do seem to go through things early: puberty, marriage, graduation from college, ascent in the corporate world. Maybe it's a first-born thing.

And if you've been following this blog for any time at all, you can't tell me you didn't see it coming with all of my self-help projects I've planned for myself that didn't last more than a few weeks.

My theme for year 24 was "With Everything," based on my absolute favorite song, and I'm still trying to figure out what that looks like. So let me explain. I know that the utmost desire of my heart is to invite the Lord into all that I am, in all that I do, no matter how many times my selfishness causes me to fall asleep praying, choose self-indulgence over service, or lose control of my tongue. Because that happens a lot.

Second on the priority list, I want to be more intentional with how I spend my time. Even if it involves spending a little more quality time with my planner. But never fear; this will include marking huge blocks of hours off for fun things like sleeping in, picnics, reading, writing, baking, napping. I'd better learn to fit these things in or there's no way they'll ever happen when I become a mother. Basically I'm tired of saying "I don't have time" for the picnics, books, and baking because what I'm really saying is "I don't make time!" This has to change.

Enter the search for meaning. (From Stage Left, crossing to Center Stage.) The search is universal because everyone goes through this beautiful train wreck at one point in time or another. Some may even say that that search motivates every action and decision in life for many. I'm glad I know in Whom my meaning lies, but that doesn't mean I don't want each individual moment in my life to be more meaningful. I want to do more serving/doing/creating/experiencing instead of coping/passing by/recovering/automating.

Henceforth, my "quarterlife crisis" shall be known as "The Quarter Life Awakening." And here is my working list for "25 for 25" -- things I want to accomplish this year.

1) Wear more dresses

2) Try being vegan for a month

3) Go gluten-free for a month

4) Run a half marathon (scheduled for 11/21/10)

5) Get professional pictures done with JT

6) Write something. Everyday.

7) Take time to listen to God and be intuitive about what He's saying to me

8) Take the GRE

9) Learn how to play the piano

10) Finish at least the first draft of my novel

11) See a Texas Rangers game at the Ballpark

12) Cook at home more and blog more recipes!

13) Plant an herb garden

14) Decorate my house (walls still blank; entire rooms still unfurnished)

15) Plan my meals every single week!

16) Find the perfect pair of boots and rock them this fall and winter and spring

17) Host a shrimp boil

18) Become a coupon clipper

19) Send thank you notes

20) Stay on top of messages (emails, letters, etc.) better

21) Go social media free for a week each month

22) Show and live love more creatively (esp to JT!)

23) Be more sensitive and responsive to others' needs

24) To be written

25) To be written