quiet conversations

I'm back from the cruise. It was SO nice and needed.

Will post pictures later once they're organized and edited, but let me first tell you about our days:

We woke up, and JT wandered around the ship, reading and taking pictures while he let me sleep in a little longer. We breakfasted (omelet bar and homemade waffles everyday) and then played gin rummy or chess in this special cabin with cute yellow wingback chairs. When someone got tired of winning (ahem, me), we changed and went into town wherever our ship was ported, and then after lunch, we'd lay in chairs by the pool and read or nap or swim until we were so full of sun and sweat. We tried to work out at least every other day to ease our consciences, because after we cleaned up, we had dinners with so much butter and all-out dessert every night. After dinner festivities included anything from the ship's fine nightlife entertainment, but most of the time, we kicked off our heels in our room and watched movies on TNT.

It was rough, let me tell you.

Last night, we arrived around midnight, and I had grand plans of taking off my makeup, brushing my teeth, and falling into bed. After I checked my email, that is. When I got home, I discovered a freshly painted house with custom crown molding by Andrea Cherie's fantastic husband. Oh my goodness my house looks completely different, updated, and wonderful! It was 51 degrees inside and still smelled like mothballs because a skunk got under our house just before we left, but it looked wonderful!

But hours later, I found myself awake with so many words running through my head -- and I mean just that. They weren't normal thoughts, they were words arranged how I would write them in my journal or blog. I was tempted to sneak away to another room with my laptop to blog about it, but instead, I had a little conversation with God.

One by one, I gave him all of the things that were running through my mind, from the mountain of cleaning I have to do, to missing my best friend who is leaving for China tomorrow, to my anxiety of returning to work and finding that I was in trouble like last time (I wasn't), to wishing I was in North Carolina to help my dear heartbroken friend whose husband's hip was broken in an accident during military training, which means he will be leaving for overseas in a few months instead of staying home and starting a family as they'd planned.

My mom's dog even crept his way into my thoughts, even though he's pretty much the world's worst dog. She gave him away while I was gone, and even though he was the worst dog ever (he was mean to everyone but her), I teared up when I pictured him living with his new family, waiting for her to come back for him. But she never will.

I asked God to give me peace and sleep like only he can. I forced my breathing into a restful rhythm and snuggled into a comfortable position, finally warm in our 51-degree house. I listened to my husband sleeping peacefully next to me like a blissful papa bear. But I still couldn't sleep, so I kept shifting, praying, pleading, and the next morning, when I realized what had happened, I knew a peace and restoration blogging never could have given me.

Here's to quiet conversations with a Maker who understands things in a way we'll never be able to and communicates to us in a language that transcends words.